Death of an Inmate

August 17, 2008

It was 1993-94. I was locked up in the citizens of Maricopa County's maximum security jail. The 6th floor of Madison St. Jail. I was housed in a pod of disciplinary problem detainees. Pre & post conviction inmates. Mentally ill detainees mixed in amongst them. I was both mentally ill and a disciplinary problem.

The smell of sweat, feces, urine, vomit and rotting food filled your nostrils as you entered the pod. Roaches were out of control and the place was a disgusting mess. Screams and cries of despair assaulted your ears. It must have been a terrifying event for Detainee Doe when he was escorted into the cell next to mine at 2 am. His tears made this evident.

I could hear his sobbing from next door. Many others could, too, judging by their yells. After about 30 minutes, all was silent. I drifted off to a restless sleep. I grew used to the feel of roaches crawling on me while sleeping and made makeshift earplugs to keep them out of my ears.

Around 5 am, I was awoken by the sound of keys rapping against my cell door. "Good morning. Would you like to shave?" The MCSO detention officer asked me. Returning her courtesy, I politely declined.

Coincidentally, I had known D.O. MacLemore since the 4th grade. Her son, Damian, was my best friend years earlier. She worked in MCSO jails then, too.

As Mrs. M. moved on to the next cell to offer the new guy a single blade disposable razor, I rinsed off my face and mouth. I had no soap or toothpaste, so rinsing had to do. Relaxing on my bunk after Mrs. M. left the pod, I waited for her to return to collect the razors and serve breakfast. I thought I'd heard a thump on the wall from my new neighbor, but dismissed it when I heard nothing more.

Thirty minutes later, Mrs. M.'s smiling face peeked in my cell's window and moved on to the next cell. Suddenly I heard her scream followed by a panicked radio call for help.

Moving to the window, I found Mrs. M. staring at a thick stream of blood coming from beneath new guy's door into the gutter in front of his cell. A look of horror and genuine concern on her face.

Minutes later, the pod was filled with D.O.s and a nurse. None of which entered the cell to possibly help.

Thirty more minutes passed until paramedics arrived with their gurney and medic boxes. Tracking blood everywhere, the paramedics worked on my new neighbor to no avail. He died.

I watched as they carted out the man's corpse. Face bloody and bruised, a 5 inch gash in his neck. An eyes-wide-open, blank stare on his face.

The man had cut his carotid artery with the razor blade. Dizzy from blood loss, he fell forward smashing his face on the sink, then backwards smacking the back of his head on the wall he shared with me. It was a painful, bloody death. I can still see the blood and his vacant stare.

This isn't the first suicide in MCSO jails. Far from it. It is the first one I saw which remains in my memory. It wasn't the last one either.

Contrary to Sheriff Arpaio's constant assertions, MCSO jails are not his. They belong to each and every Maricopa County taxpayer and citizen.

Arpaio has costed the taxpayers $11 million since 1995, just in payouts in wrongful death lawsuits.

Enough is enough! Arpaio must go! It's not in his jails that inmates have died, been beaten, lived in barbaric conditions and tortured. They're Maricopa County citizens' and taxpayers' jails!

#1 Charity BBQ

August 16, 2008

The charity BBQ was a huge success today. Both prisoners and guards raised lots of cash for charity and enjoyed a lazy day by the grill. It was amazing.

As expected, each person was able to BBQ their own food. For many of us prisoners, that was priceless. Some guys hadn't seen a grill in 20 years, or smelled or seen mequite in just as long.

September's Fundraiser has yet to be announced, but a little birdie told me it just might be McDonald's meals. I'm sure that being able to purchase unlimited amounts of burgers, fries, shakes, pies, etc., would generate tones of money for charity. Especially since many prisoners able to purchase food and share with those who can't, do.

This fundraiser/charitable donation opportunity is the finest thing I've seen started in ADOC. Way to go, Director Schriro.

Deputy Warden Bradley and CO III Miller at the Manzanita Unit have done an excellent job arranging these charity events and keeping them going monthly. Absolutely fantastic.

Again, if there are any charities out there that'd like to participate and/or businesses who will work with ADOC and its prisoners, get in contact with CO III Miller or your local Arizona prison. Suggestions are also welcomed on this blog's comments or via e-mail.

Keep Communications Flowing

August 15, 2008

Those of you who have followed my blog know that I'm in need of a new moderator. Anybody who has some extra time they can spare to assist with one or both of my blogs, please message, e-mail or snail mail me.

The job entails me snail-mailing a handwritten blog entry to you. You type the entry into my online blog. Once typed in, it can be cut and pasted onto my other site.

The number of entries is up to you. Tell me how many you can handle and how often.

The rest of the other duties will be up to the moderator's discretion. Design, music (MySpace), etc.

Messages, e-mails, add-requests, etc., can be printed and snail-mailed to me if necessary. Same with blog comments requiring my personal response.

Contact me or my temporary moderator and we can work out details.

Fee free to contact my temp. moderator with questions. She's in a better position to explain the details of what the job entails.

If you can help me keep my voice heard, it would be greatly appreciated and I look forward to hearing from you.

Single Again

August 7, 2008

Pixie (Shells) and I are no longer an item. We broke up. Things didn't work out. That's life. No regrets here. I loved and was loved. What's to regret? I'll miss her and hope she will miss me.

Shells is a special woman and has a place in my heart and memories.

"Who broke up with whom? Why?" I'm sure some may ask. My response: Buy my autobiography when it's out and find out. LOL

So, again, I'm single. I welcome all single ladies to write. Especially singles in Tucson, Arizona. Let's be friends and write.

P.S. Shells, I dedicate the John Mayer song "Waiting on the World to Change" to you. We have a song! LOL

BBQ for charity

July 29, 2008

In a progressive, selfless move, Manzanita unit Deputy Warden Bradley has arranged for all orangemen and ADC staff to partake in a charity BBQ of sorts at the end of August.

For $10.00, prisoners and staff can purchase 1 pound of Carne Asada, 1 large potato, 4 large tortillas, 2 oz. of butter, and sour cream to be cooked on a grill on the prison yard. The profits are donated to a charity.

Charity fund-raisers and donations continue to happen monthly here, and on most other units in ADOC, netting large sums for a variety of causes.

If you're a charitable organization in need or a business will to work with ADOC on fundraising, contact your local prison.

If you're a friend or family member of an ADOC orangeman and can spare a little cash, send your loved one a money order to participate.

Manzanita unit's contact person: CO III Miller, ASPC-Tucson, Manzanita Unit, 10002 S. Wilmot Road, Tucson, AZ 85734. (520) 574-0024, ext. 37499.

Angry Blogger vs Passionate Blogger

July 28, 2008

It was recently brought to my attention that I come across as unhappy, and maybe even angry, in my blog entries. Although I write much about things which frustrate me and stoke fires inside me that burn for changes inside the criminal justice system and society, I am not unhappy or angry.

I live in a captive community full of strife. Daily struggles for everybody. Administrators, contract employees, staff, guards and orangemen all struggling and under immense pressures collectively and individually. Prison guards need more pay, the system needs a bigger budget, less micro-management is needed, improved conditions of confinement, etc. There's a need for change on so many levels. My blog focuses mainly on aspects I'm personally touched by and have knowledge of and experience with. This doesn't in any way lessen the need for change on all levels. On all sides of the problem. If you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem.

I'm pro-prison reform, pro-prisoner rights, pro-human rights, pro-rehabilitation, etc. I'm not anti-establishment.

I believe that if collectively we live conscious of our social responsibilities the entire world would be a better place.

The fair, humane and progressive treatment of felons, prisoners, addicts, etc. is the socially responsible thing to do. Most of us will be released some day. To live amongst other citizens. Its absurd to think that anybody would oppose the humane, fair treatment of, rehabilitation of, and bettering of a person they will one day call neighbor. That would be socially irresponsible.

Honestly, if not for people, both in society and prison I'd met, I'd possibly still pose a threat to my neighbors after my release. However, people have encouraged me, been patient with me, taught me, accepted me, and shown me my own possibilities and capabilities. They didn't force me to change through fear, degradation, etc. They showed me how and gave me the courage to do it.

Even encouraging words by prison staff have helped me. Just the other day, CO III Miller, my assigned counselor, complimented my writing skills and encouraged me to submit my work to Reader's Digest. Apparently he's read my blog and/or writing in newspapers and magazines.

I am a happy person. Blessed with good friends. Blessed with potential and marketable skills. I'm not an angry person. I have passion for certain causes. I get upset. I get emotional. I am human.

Thank you, Chris, for sharing your view of my blog's tone. Also, thank you for reuniting with Tony. He's my best friend and this reunion means more to him than you'll ever understand.