Tiny People Everywhere!

December 22, 2008

In visitation Sunday there were tiny people everywhere!

I have a minor problem when I'm around certain children. They freak me out! I either freeze up or try to avoid them. If I spend time with a kid, I get over it fairly quickly. I've had girlfriends with small kids. But kids I'm not already comfortable around make me nervous. Once comfortable, I'm very good with kids.

Sunday's visit was no exception. There was a little tiny boy zooming around who had me nearly in a panic. He couldn't have been older than 3&1/2 and stood maybe 2.5 foot tall. He was adorable. But at one point, as I stood at the ashtray smoking, the little guy did a lap around me and stood next to me with a tiny fist of rocks looking up at me. I froze. I couldn't move! I could only stand there like an idiot. The little guy turned to Tony, also standing there smoking, and pointed his fist of rocks at the ashtray looking up at him for help. "Want me to put those in there for ya?" Tony asked him. He nodded his head 'yes.' Tony reached down and opened his hand palm up. The toddler dropped the three or four pebbles in his open hand. Tony then dropped them into the ashtray while he intently watched.

As soon as his mission was accomplished the little guy moved on. Only then did I walk back to the table and sit down and visit with Doug.

Even Tony's 11-year-old had me nervous. She spoke to me a couple times and I couldn't hold a conversation or look at her very long when she spoke to me. I'd clam up. I just know she thinks I'm weird. LOL.

I was nervous around my neice too when I was out. She was around 9 years old. But an ex of mine had two boys, 6 and 8, who I was fine around.

What's wrong with me? Kids are just little tiny people. Why do I freak out? The smaller they are, the more I feel nervous. Has anybody seen, heard of or experienced this before?

Tony and I get visits

December 21, 2008

Today Tony and I both got visits. My good friend Doug brought Tony's daughter, Miss M and Tony's ex, Mrs. J. down to visit.

It was an awesome visit. I've never seen him this happy. He was in the best company imaginable. Was I at a loss for words? Believe it or not...YES. I'm over it now of course. I can't be shut up for long. LOL.

Miss M is adorable! A perfect mixture of mom and dad's features. The resemblance is obvious. A genuine smile of happiness nearly brought a tear to my eye, when I saw her look at her parents. Together. *Disclaimer* I'd have cried but convicts don't cry outside the courtroom.

Similar to the treatment and attitude Pixie was greeted with by visitation guards, when she came to visit me, Mrs. J was nearly turned away for failing to look asexual and unattractive. Luckily, Doug being a superb statesman and advocate (his profession and passion) was there. Maybe Pixie will share some of the fashion fix-its she learned, such as the underwire tip.

Tony and Mrs. J appeared to get along great. They were all smiles. I could see the happiness in him, as well as the genuine feelings he still has for her as they talked, joked and held hands. It was good to see things falling in place for him and Mrs. J.

I know Tony pretty well and we talk. He's my best friend. He loves her, even after the tough times and problems they had. They looked good together today.

I hope that they continue to visit, correspond and reconnect. It'll be great for Tony to have his family back. It'll also mean the world to that adorable little girl to have her mom and dad. Together.

There were a few surprises during today's visit for both Tony and I. Tony got a surprise visit from his good friend Chris. It was a bit awkward and Tony feels bad because he didn't get to give him his full attention, but what could he do. I'm sure Chris understands, but Tony still feels bad nonetheless. My surprise: I'm going to own a townhouse. Doug discussed it with me and tried to explain real-estate, absentee landlord, property management, etc. I didn't understand all of it but with Doug's help and some research, I'll be the proud owner of a home in a nice neighborhood in Scottsdale within a year.

It was a really good day for Tony and I, although I did have a couple of minor problems: First, during the visit there were multiple children around, and I freak out around kids between 2 & 12 years old. (For more on this read my next blog entry) I either become stand-offish or completely freeze up.

The second problem occurred after the visit when Tony ... (Note from Shannon: I apologize for the abrupt ending. It seems I somehow lost the last page. The final sentence was: "The second problem occurred after the visit when Tony used up all the hot water in a 45 minute shower. Thanks a bunch Mrs. J! LOL"

Tony's Love Dilemma

December 20, 2008

Many of us in prison spend a lifetime running from our past. Second chances at life, love and normalcy do happen. Third chances aren't as frequent. Tony has been struggling with some changes in his life that could effect his future.

In 1997, before he took a header into the murky meth world, the woman he was madly and shamelessly in-love with gave birth to his beautiful daughter. He was ontop of the world. Two of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen, a good job, a nice home and a good life.

Three years later, it was over. She left him. Completely blindsided and left in an emotional tailspin, Tony's world collapsed around him. The two people he loved so deeply were gone. He could only wonder what he'd done or not done.

Now, both of these young ladies have found him and reconnected with him. Naturally, his feelings and love for his daughter never waivered. Stronger than ever.

The three of them have visited and Tony wants communications. Seeing his ex and hearing her voice stirred feelings from long ago. Brought back many fond memories. But her leaving all those years ago and the pain it caused is causing him turmoil.

Tony is a good man. He is beyond excited about these two women being back in his life. He's anxious to be a part of his daughter's life and be the father she deserves.

His ex is just as lovely as he remembers, and he still has feelings for her. She's the mother of his baby girl. But she crushed his heart. Devastated him in one move.

She wants to work things out. To be a family again. Deep inside, I think he wants this too. But do couples recover from such break-ups and live happily ever after? I think they can. I can see he still cares and there's love there but I can see the fear that he will get hurt again too.

It'll take time, much more communication, and lots of making up to mend his broken heart, but I believe Tony can be happy again.

Of course she'll have to get used to me living in their guest house. He's my best friend and I'll be watching like a hawk! No...like a cat. Like a ninja. Like a ninja-cat!

Should Tony pursue what was lost or just be the best dad he can be?

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

December 16, 2008

Today, an orangeman refused to house in a particular bed. Rather than security and administrative staff simply putting him in the hole, they decided to punish him in a ridiculous display of childishness.

Under Sgt. Bonorand, Lt. Robinson, Cpt. Rynyon and a half dozen CO III's and CO IV's watch, the orangman was handcuffed, put in a fenced in courtyard, wearing only a thin orange jumpsuit, socks and flip-flops. This was so he would suffer in the elements until he decided to house in the bed he was told to.

This continued on through the next shift. Sgt. Pair carried on this unconstitutional punishment under the infantile guise of it's the orange's "choice." He can house or sit out in the cold.

Just prior to dinner, another orangeman tried to toss a sweatshirt over the fence to this guy which got caught in the razor-wire.

Sgt. Pair locked the entire yard down, slow fed the whole yard and we remain locked down.

Deputy Warden Bradley, apparently, has no control over his shift supervisors or has no concept of cruel and unusual punishment forbidden by the 8th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Either way, he's in need of a phone call, e-mail, etc.

It's breezy, 45-55 degrees F and wet. Don't you think the shoddy health care being provided to orangemen is enough punishment without prolonged exposure to the elements?

GLBT = Human-Beings

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Transexuals...Are they not our fellow human being? Do they not live side-by-side with us, pay taxes with us, vote with us, work alongside us, care for our young, old and ill, serve with us in our country's armed forces, fight with and for us, and die for us? Then why do we continue to turn our backs on, betray and fail them? They simply want to enjoy the same rights and privileges we do as heterosexual American men and women. Let's look at some issues...

Adoption: I can personally verify that heterosexual parental surrogates throughout my childhood had no business whatsoever caring for, rearing, loving or providing for a pet rock, let alone a child. Whereas GLBT friends did and would have stepped up and done far better a job.

Military Services: Don't ask, don't tell...they have proven themselves fit to serve and have done so valiantly for ages. It should be "Don't worry about it."

Marriage: If a church, any church, will marry same-sex couples, it is their right to marry. Freedom of Religion is an extremely broad right. That's freedom to practice ANY religion! With the seperation of church and state, no government actors or entity has the authority to interfere with, hinder or get involved in matters of the churches. That's ANY churches! If you want a government ruled by religion or that rules over, more to Iran.

GLBT's are no better or worse than the hetero population. Yet, they are treated as lesser citizens. Our latest trip to the polls was a step forward in racial and gender equality. And two steps back for sexual preference discrimination and equality for ALL.

As a straight man, with GLBT friends, I hope that one day all of my friends will enjoy the same rights and privileges as everybody else.

Pen Pals Invited

December 3, 2008

Some readers have been asking how to get in contact with me, and if I can correspond through email with them. I'll take this opportunity to invite anybody and everybody to contact me and explain how.

First, I would love to meet new friends to correspond with via snailmail. No matter race, color, sex, creed, sexual orientation, 18 to 80, whether you're a dancer, lawyer, cop or student, whether you're a swinger couple or Christian single, I invite everybody interested in a genuine friendship.

If you're interested, snailmail me at: Shannon M. Clark #113372, ASPC - Tucson - Manzanita Unit, P.O. Box 24401, Tucson Arizona 85734-4401, or email me, including your snailmail address at Msg4shannon@yahoo.com.

Earned Incentives: Phase III

December 2, 2008

As of November 30th, I am a Phase III in ADOC's "Earned Incentive Program." Phase III is the best level an orangeman can achieve. Earned through positive behavior, participating in and getting good performance reviews in various ADOC programs and work assignments, and remaining disciplinary free.

Minimum security and Phase III! Hmmm, now what will I accomplish. For those of you who knew me in the past, or have just reviewed my disciplinary history in ADOC on their website, this is a real accomplishment. I haven't always been a good lil orangeman. LOL

Now, although for me and many other guys in here it's only a prestigious title and the satisfaction of having accomplished something because the "earned incentives" involve money and family/friends, the incentives are as follows:

Commissary: As a Phase III, I could spend an additional $20 at the commissary every week. A total of $80.

X-Mas Commissary: As a Phase III, I could spend an additional $60 throughout the month of December on "holiday" goodies at the commissary every week. A total of $160.

Phone calls: As a Phase III, I could make unlimited collect calls every day to anybody on my approved visit/phone list. (Same ridiculously expensive price)

Regular visits: As a Phase III, I could receive visits from anybody on my approved visit list every Saturday and Sunday, 8AM til 4PM. A total of 16 hours a week.

Holiday visits: As a Phase III, I could receive visits from my approved visitors for eight hours on New Years Day, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day and Veterans Day. (No, apparently Thanksgiving and X-mas aren't important enough!)

Food visits: As a Phase III, I could receive "food" visits from my approved visitors for eight hours on Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Labor Day and Veterans Day.

When I get rich, it's on!! LOL Maybe I'll find a friend who will want to come visit me. Anybody interested? Let's be friends and correspond. Snailmail me or email me your name and address and I'll write you.

Shannon Michael Clark #113372
ASPC Tucson - Manzanita Unit
P.O. Box 24401
Tucson, AZ 85734-4401

Budget Jitters

November 28, 2008

With budget cuts seriously hitting the ADOC, there's a misconception that the "department" has extensively been effected. Although I'm sure that scrimping has occurred for the "department", but the orangeman population has taken the brunt of the cuts. Unfortunately, the way things are, further cuts that effect the inmate population I suspect will lead to a revolt. Although orangemen have been tolerant thus far, with only minimal uprisings, how much more the populace can and will endure before they spontaneously snap nobody knows.

Thus far, meals provided to orangemen have significantly been decreased in portions and quality (I've personally lost significant weight the past few months); state provided health and welfare supplies for the indigent population, i.e. soap, toothpaste, envelopes, postage, etc. have significantly been cut back in quantity; recreation equipment and supplies have been significantly decreased; state issued toilet paper has been decreased from 2 rolls (1,000 sheets / 1 ply) every 7 days, to 1 roll every 7 days, and now recently 1 roll every 10 days; state issued clothing has been reduced from 7 shirts, boxers, socks and 3 pants to 3 shirts, boxers, socks, and pants and instead of a clothing exchange every six months for "new" clothes, we are now provided used clothing (I haven't had "new" clothing in over three years and due to weight loss and wear, most of my clothes are falling off).

But the "department" has preemptively fixed the problems by authorizing Keefe Commissary Network to sell more food items, increased the quantity and spending amounts (which is at inflated prices, when stock is available and only helpful to orangemen with money), and orange clothing, as well as tiolet paper (which Tony has ordered weekly for a month and has not been in stock and costs $2.25 for 1 roll (500 sheets / 2 ply) (Scott Bathroom Tissue). Sounds like extortion to me...

It will only get worse with the next budget cuts. When will this end? I'll tell you. It'll end one of two ways; the budget will get fixed or the population will snap and the "department" will require additional federal funds to clean up the mess and restore peace. Which do you think will occur? I hope that the fix is out there. Most of us orangemen don't want the alternative. We just want to do our time and go home.