April 10, 2009
Tony, Brian and I were discussing how mangy and broke down the pigeons look here on the Manzanita Unit, which reminded me of a hilarious prank Tony, me and a guy named Ghost pulled on another guy a few years ago on the Santa Rita Unit.
Soho lived downstairs from Tony on Yard 1. He kept his cell floor clean and waxed to the point of obsession. It was like glass and nobody walked on his floor with their shoes on, except guards.
Soho, Tony, Ghost, and I were sitting on the stoop in front of Soho's cell. Smoking cigarettes, we chit-chatted. Ghost had brought us all a doughnut. Soho and I immediately wolfed ours down. Pigeons flocked around us, keeping their distance, anticipating a stray doughnut crumb. They always seem to suddenly appear in the sky whenever orangemen break out with food.
"Soho! Baker run-cell 14! Report to medical!" The P.A. system blared out. "Watch my cell. I'll be right back," Soho said, getting up and walking off towards medical.
As he opened his doughnut, the two dozen mangy looking pigeons edged closer to Ghost in a disorganized flurry. Breaking off a small morsel and tossing it in the crowd of winged rats, he watched them chaotically erupt, jockeying for position and fighting for a piece of the crumb.
"Lemme see a piece of that," I told Ghost. Tearing off a piece of doughnut, Ghost tossed it to me. Breaking tiny pieces off and tossing them one at a time in front of the mass of pigeons, I slowly led them down the stairs and in front of Soho's open cell door. "Now scare 'em in the cell, " I told Ghost and Tony, smiling ear to ear.
Tony and Ghost slowly got up and crept towards the distracted swarm of birds. Suddenly, they burst towards the pigeons, screaming and waving their arms. All but three birds fluttered into Soho's open cell, which I quickly slammed the door shut on.
Laughing hysterically, the three of us all squeezed our faces into the cell door window and watched as the birds flew around the cell and landed on his bed, bookshelf, TV, empty upper bunk and the shiny floor.
For twenty minutes, the three of us stood around waiting for Soho to return, occasionally pointing out our prank to passing orangemen, and even the guard who discovered the 8' x 12' aviary on his security walk. The guard simply looked in the window, looked at us, smiled and said, "Now that's a lot of birds," and continued his walk.
About thirty minutes after the birds had flown into the coop, Soho's door electronically buzzed and popped open slightly. Soho had arrived and the control room guard had unlocked his cell door for him.
Without a clue what lie behind his door, Soho pushed it open and stepped inside. As soon as his foot came down on the makeshift towel doormat inside his cell, nine flustered birds took flight in a feathery storm, battering Soho on their way out of his cell. Soho screamed and tried to protect himself from the beating wings, as we doubled over with laughter.
Soho took it well and after a few minutes, laughed with us, but a couple of weeks later, as I watched tv after lockdown (9:00 pm) in my cell, I spied a desert toad crawl out from under my bunk. Upon further investigation, I found twenty-six toad of various sizes hiding in my cell. I spent the night with them until 6:30 am when I was able to free them.
Tony, Brian and I were discussing how mangy and broke down the pigeons look here on the Manzanita Unit, which reminded me of a hilarious prank Tony, me and a guy named Ghost pulled on another guy a few years ago on the Santa Rita Unit.
Soho lived downstairs from Tony on Yard 1. He kept his cell floor clean and waxed to the point of obsession. It was like glass and nobody walked on his floor with their shoes on, except guards.
Soho, Tony, Ghost, and I were sitting on the stoop in front of Soho's cell. Smoking cigarettes, we chit-chatted. Ghost had brought us all a doughnut. Soho and I immediately wolfed ours down. Pigeons flocked around us, keeping their distance, anticipating a stray doughnut crumb. They always seem to suddenly appear in the sky whenever orangemen break out with food.
"Soho! Baker run-cell 14! Report to medical!" The P.A. system blared out. "Watch my cell. I'll be right back," Soho said, getting up and walking off towards medical.
As he opened his doughnut, the two dozen mangy looking pigeons edged closer to Ghost in a disorganized flurry. Breaking off a small morsel and tossing it in the crowd of winged rats, he watched them chaotically erupt, jockeying for position and fighting for a piece of the crumb.
"Lemme see a piece of that," I told Ghost. Tearing off a piece of doughnut, Ghost tossed it to me. Breaking tiny pieces off and tossing them one at a time in front of the mass of pigeons, I slowly led them down the stairs and in front of Soho's open cell door. "Now scare 'em in the cell, " I told Ghost and Tony, smiling ear to ear.
Tony and Ghost slowly got up and crept towards the distracted swarm of birds. Suddenly, they burst towards the pigeons, screaming and waving their arms. All but three birds fluttered into Soho's open cell, which I quickly slammed the door shut on.
Laughing hysterically, the three of us all squeezed our faces into the cell door window and watched as the birds flew around the cell and landed on his bed, bookshelf, TV, empty upper bunk and the shiny floor.
For twenty minutes, the three of us stood around waiting for Soho to return, occasionally pointing out our prank to passing orangemen, and even the guard who discovered the 8' x 12' aviary on his security walk. The guard simply looked in the window, looked at us, smiled and said, "Now that's a lot of birds," and continued his walk.
About thirty minutes after the birds had flown into the coop, Soho's door electronically buzzed and popped open slightly. Soho had arrived and the control room guard had unlocked his cell door for him.
Without a clue what lie behind his door, Soho pushed it open and stepped inside. As soon as his foot came down on the makeshift towel doormat inside his cell, nine flustered birds took flight in a feathery storm, battering Soho on their way out of his cell. Soho screamed and tried to protect himself from the beating wings, as we doubled over with laughter.
Soho took it well and after a few minutes, laughed with us, but a couple of weeks later, as I watched tv after lockdown (9:00 pm) in my cell, I spied a desert toad crawl out from under my bunk. Upon further investigation, I found twenty-six toad of various sizes hiding in my cell. I spent the night with them until 6:30 am when I was able to free them.
