Wat Do I Care About?

January 11, 2010

Being free. This is what I care about. Free to be my true self. Free to make my own choices. Free to pick my friends. Free to love myself. Free to love others. Free to eat when, where and what I want. Free to be loved. Free to say Yes. And No. Free to roam. Free to depend on others. Free to depend on myself. Free to be depended on. Free to trust. And to be trusted. I care about being FREE.

This is a world of free choices. Now, unlike years past, I understand and am willing to make the right choices that will lead me to my chosen destination. A progressive path onto more free choices.

Like arranging dominoes to fall in a desired pattern, one needs to make the proper decision where to place each domino. One wrong or carelessly placed domino and the path veers off course ending abruptly. Not at the desired destination.

To reach my desired destination and to continue to move forward, each free choice I make will be made with careful consideration that will allow me to continue to free choices that lead me forward uninterrupted, to my desired destination.

Just like cascading dominoes, as long as you are willing to start over and try again to reach your destination, success is attainable.

Being free. This is what I care about.

ADOC Dental Care: Sunrise Style

January 10, 2010

"Just tie a string to it and yank it out, " Bull told Trent, a sadistic look of interest on his face. "Hold up, Trent. Just wait for dental" I tried to convince him, as he began to take out nylon string from his net bag.

Trent had a loose upper side tooth that he'd been suffering pain and facial swelling from for two days. He'd submitted an HNR and was tired of the pain. Desperate, he chose to pull it on his own. It's common knowledge amongst orangemen that complex dental has a waiting list months long.

Tying the string to his tooth, Trent mentally prepared with a three count, ignoring my cautioning him "Make sure you don't cut your gums". On three, Trent yanked the string. Hard. The string broke. The excruciating pain flashed across his already swollen face.

"Double up the string," Bull encouraged Trent. As Trent began to do just that, I kept warning him to be careful. Double up now, Trent counted and again violently yanked. This time, out came the tooth, root and all!

Like a jackal with a scrap of meat, Bull snatched the string with the tooth attached from Trent and ran off down the hallway into the dayroom cackling loudly with sadistic excitement.

Seeing the blood instantly begin pouring from his mouth, I handed Trent some folded up toilet paper and instructed him to bite down on it to staunch the bleeding. "That was gangster," I told him, patting him on the back. "Dental at Sunrise" he mumbled jokingly.

No thanks to ADOC, Trent is fine now a week later. No pain. No swelling. No $4 fee. It only cost him pain and a tooth.

A Memory to Forget

January 9, 2010

As I laid unconscious, without a stitch of clothes on, the local cockroach clans crawled over me as if I were meat discarded in an alleyway. Waking from a nightmare in pools of sweat, I sprang from the thin plastic mattress feeling the tickling sensation of tiny roach feet on my bare stomach. "What the hell!" I yelled, slapping at the scavengers and dancing around the tiny room. Only after the roaches had all vanished did I realize that I had no idea where I was.

Walking to the steel door with a small dirty window I peered out. Nobody was on the other side. Pounding my fist against it, the door rattled in its tracks loudly. "Shut up!" A voice yelled from some place nearby, possibly another room. "Where am I?" I yelled. "In hell, asshole!" the voice answered. Confused, I layed back down on the shoddy mattress and tried to make sense of all this.

Thinking back, my last clear memory was of me drawing up and shooting a twenty of meth. A daily ritual, in addition to two eight-balls of crack and a nickle of heroin. As if my mind knew I desperately needed rest, I passed out again.

"Get up and get your food!" A harsh, but feminine voice bellowed as a female deputy banged her keys on the door. Getting up, I groggily moved to the door. It wasn't until I caught the deputy looking me up and down did I remember I was naked. Smiling, the deputy pushed a clear plastic sack containing food through a hinged trap in the door, slammed it shut and moved on down the hallway.

Sitting on the mattress, I inspected my proposed breakfast. Four slices of white bread, two slices of green tinted bologna, a small carton of milk, and a big yellow grapefruit. The was breakfast. Later that day I'd learn it was brunch.

Sticky with sweat and God knows what else, I went to the sink to rinse my face, wondering what time it was. In the artificially lit room I couldn't tell. A foul odor emanated from the small stainless steel sink, which drained into a connecting toilet bowl. The toilet was filled with rancid fecal water and was obviously not working and hadn't seen a scouring in years.

Pushing the cold water button proved ineffective. Pushing the hot water button caused a stream of water to spray into my face and I quickly covered the tepid water with my hand. Before I could recover from the startling water attack, the water shut off. Anger turned to frustration and I sat and began to eat my meager meal. Discarding the bread which was moldy, I ate
the green bologna, but when I went to wash it down with a gulp of milk, the texture of curdles and sour taste caused me to spew up all I ate. Laying down, my emotions overwhelmed me and I began to sob quietly. I drifted off to sleep.

This was November 2002. My first day in Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's cruel conditions of confinement at Madison Street jail.

Note* I was still presumed INNOCENT of the crimes I was charge with according to the Law.

Security Check Cut

January 2, 2010

Sunrise Unit generally only has no more than four correctional officers on duty per shift. Often times only 2 or 3 CO II's. That's around a 25 prisoner to 1 guard ratio!

A couple of days ago I saw just how short the Sunrise Unit is on guards. With a state employee hiring freeze state-wide, lay-offs, and resignations, it's no surprise this lapse in ADOC security has occurred and will continue to in its currently overcrowded, under-staffed and under-funded state.

Pursuant to ADOC policy, each unit must perform a certain number of emergency response simulations every week. Surprise simulations of real occurrences, like inmates fighting, fires, staff assaults, etc. This, an effective training exercise, keeps the guards on their toes. Prepared. But only if done properly.

A couple of days ago, while walking the track, I noticed four guards enter the front gate and loiter in front of the main control room. I didn't recognize any of them and they were all from the main prison complex ten minutes, by car, away. They were conversing with two Sunrise guards for about ten minutes before an emergency broadcast was called for Sunrise unit. It was a "surprise" emergency response simulation.

First, for this to be a "surprise" drill, the guards couldn't be notified ahead of time by sending guards assigned elsewhere to Sunrise Unit for no apparent reason. Second, if it took additional guards from elsewhere to be sent to Sunrise Unit just to perform this drill, how is it possible that the drill was passed successfully. Lastly, what does this say about the Sunrise Unit's security and how concerned Lewis Complex administrators/supervisors are with their staff's safety and the security here. Hmmmm.......