The thing coming with me

What do you think is the most positive thing you can take with you when you are released?

The most positive thing I'm taking with me is something that many of my good friends have told me for years, pounding it into my head. Don't let the mistakes you make hold you back or stop you from moving forward in your pursuit of success.

My good friends Shaun, Sue O. and Weird Al all told me this. Louise K, a friend I've had through good times and bad for nearly 14 years, has told me this for years. My best friend, Tony, who I've let down and allowed to suffer since his release, has told me this since the first time we hung out on the yard listening to our walkmans, oblivious to all that was going on around us.

I still struggle with this, but have been moving forward. I have learned from my mistakes and moved on. I've been moving towards success and a new start in society. My past is just that... past!

The most important and positive thing I'm taking with me? The ability to forgive myself and not dwell on mistakes I've made.

What I get from Persevering Prison Pages

Your blog has been in operation for quite some time. What do you get out of this?

Initially, I began PPP to simply tell my story. My life. I wanted to be heard, understood and to be seen as a person, rather than simply another prisoner. Just another addict. A lost cause. I enjoy writing and discovered that I am fairly good at it.

Shortly after PPP began, a good friend of mine, Shaun Attwood, said to be "Shannon, you are a natural at this. Find and refine your own writing style and write what you know. What you're passionate about." This conversation inspired me to allow PPP to morph into what it is today.

I enjoy knowing that I'm making a difference in and outside prison. How do I know this, you ask? I know that my blog readers are there. Students in England. Teens in Scotland. Russia, Australia, Ireland, Germany, Canada and even China. People all over the world take the time to read PPP. If just one reader benefits from reading what I write, I'm happy.

I'm also pleased that my blogging has "forced" changes within ADOC, as well as opened the eyes and minds of some ADOC staff. You see, news reporters, lawyers, civil rights advocated and many other influential people read PPP. Sure, numerous entries on PPP have caused some serious "ruffled feathers" but I expected as much. I'm dealing with it.

I enjoy readers' comments. People's opinions. Everybody's views. Even those who disagree with me. Ultimately, I get to converse with the world. A progressive way for me to pass the time and do something with my life.

I do not ask for, or accept, any financial or material donations. Despite offers, not once have I received anything of the sort. It's about communication and change.

Adjusting to doing time

How do inmates adjust to such long sentences? Particularily life imprisonment?

For those doing time who can still see a release in their future, they begin their sentence spending time developing a daily routine. Legal work on their post conviction remedies, working out, television shows, reading, writing, church, education / spiritual studies, any available programs for bettering themselves and their future. They then try to narrow down their routine to what occupies the most time and what they enjoy the most. Often drugs, for addicts, screws up their routine, or in some cases consumes it entirely. For me, this was my adjustment, and yes drugs did screw up my routine briefly, but now I'm clean.

Lifers are a bit different, but not much. They adjust similar, but at some point they accept that this is their entire life. One thing I did notice is lifers resist changes in policies and usually try to incite non-lifers to assimilate to their beliefs.

Smoking in Prison

Where can inmates smoke in prison and, since their healthcare costs end up in the public's hands, do I think that inamtes should be allowed to smoke?

First, Arizona inmates' healthcare costs do not "end up in the public's hands" exclusively. Contrary to popular beliefs. Inmates in Arizona have been paying taxes for years, and a medical co-payment every visit to medical we ask for. Every Arizona inmate pays a sales tax on every commissary purchase. Some of us in prison even pay annual taxes. We Arizona inmates do not get the legal benefits of being tax-payers, but we pay nonetheless.

As a smoker, I am not allowed, by law, to smoke inside any state building. We are allowed to smoke outdoors. Most inmates have consistently broken this law inside their cells and even staff break this law daily.

Sure smoking should be banned in Arizona prisons. Will it? No. It's not healthy, but ADOC makes a fortune on tobacco sales kickbacks from the commissary.

Inmates on the Death Penalty

What are inmates' views on the death penalty? Do they think it's cruel & unusual or generally agree that the worst of the worst deserve it?

Just like in society, some support it - others oppose it. Personally, I oppose it. I believe that 1.) Life in prison is far better a "just" punishment for the heinous crimes AND  2.) Capital Punishment is final...even for those discovered to be not guilty after execution. You cannot reverse the sentence once you've executed someone. Arguably, one innocent person put to death as legal capital punishment, renders everybody involved in the sentence itself guilty of taking the life of an innocent person. Far too many people have been executed  and then found to be not guilty. Can anybody honestly say no innocent people have been convicted of a crime they didn't commit?

For those of you who argue "What if it was your loved-one murdered?" I'd definitely want the murderer to pay the highest price possible, but I wouldn't want to possibly see an innocent person executed. Plus, life in prison  is far worse a punishment. I know what it's like in prison. Why do you think so many inmates with lesser sentences commit suicide?

Family & Friends Relationships

How difficult is it for inmates to sustain relationships with families & friends while incarcerated?

I believe it is extremely difficult, but not impossible. I also believe the top two things have driven wedges between inmates & those who care about them in society are: Money & Lack of Understanding.

Money: The economy today in society is horrible. Inmates' families & friends are either unemployed and broke, or employed and struggle to pay bills and support their families outside prison. Few have extra money to send their loved-ones in prison, or to purchase stamps even to write. Not that they have time to write. Additionally, legislators and ADOC have imposed more expenses on inmates & their family & friends. 1% deduction on ALL deposits on inmate accounts. $20 processing fee for applying to be an approved visitor. Inmates on community supervision must pay for their U.A testing costs monthly. Yes, money is a huge wedge! Despite all of these extra costs, fees, taxes, etc., tax-payers still pay the same, and even more taxes for Corrections in Arizona. If ADOC's & law-makers' claims that the inmate population is decreasing, why is ADOC budget / funding increasing?

Lack of Understanding: Many, if not most, families & friends do not understand how things inside prison truly are. They don't understand ADOC's official policies, practices, procedures, regulations and rules or the unofficial ones. They don't understand the inmates' own rules either. An example: The ADOC disciplinary process is completely unreliable for inmates' families & friends to figure out how their loved-one is doing. Any  ADOC employee can write any ADOC inmate a disciplinary report. That employee only needs to write a brief statement of the crime. "On this date, at this time, I saw inmate so-and-so with a pound of this drug." The inmate is then found guilty  of possession of drugs by the Disciplinary Hearing Officer, based solely on "because it's more probable than not" that he did the crime, relying on the employee's word only. People in society think we are judged guilty by "some evidence" but we're not. This is bad for inmates whose families & friends simply say "he's back to his old ways". Some inmates, even me at times, simply cut ties with family & friends who are like this. It just seems less stressful. Plus, nobody likes to be called a liar.

I've kept a close circle of friends and a couple of family members. My woman, my friends Shaun, Sue (need to write, I'm sorry!) and my long-time friend Louise, as well as my big sister all know me and how I'm doing. Plus, I have a few new friends. I am lucky. Many prisoners are not so lucky.

Maybe some of you can add your comments to this.

Inmate to Guard Ratio

What is the ratio of inmates to guards in Arizona prisons?

The ratio differs from unit to unit, custody level to custody level, shift to shift and even day to day. The units I've been on here at the Lewis Complex, I estimate, based on what I've seen personally the following:

Sunrise Unit (Minimum): 100 inmates / 2-3 guards.
Eagle Point Unit (Minimum): 250 inmates / 4-6 guards.
Barchey Unit (Medium): 1,100 inmates / 18-20 guards.
Buckley Unit (Close): 800 inmates / 18-20 guards.
Rast Unit (Close & Maximum): 400 inmates / 20-25 guards.

These numbers may vary and what I observed when I was on each of these units. I've estimated / rounded upwards these numbers too and am not privy to the precise numbers. However, I can assure you that my math is closer to the truth than what ADOC would like the public to think.

In a prison system with an alarming increase in violence, suicidal inmates, drug-use & overdoses, lack of rehabilitative programs and inactivity, not to mention mental illness among inmates, this inmate to guard ratio is dangerous to inmates & guards alike and a threat to the security of the prisons and safety of the public. Not to mention is digressing the rehabilitation chances provided to inmates in Arizona prisons. More and more ADOC is falling backwards into "warehousing corrections" practices.

Prisoners' Justice Day

August 10th, 2012

Today is Prisoners' Justice Day. A day for remembering prisoners' untimely deaths and for organizations and individuals to stand united in protest of inhumane conditions of imprisonment, promoting human rights for all prisoners.

People celebrate in many different ways. Peaceful demonstrations, vigils and worship services or a day of fasting, random acts of kindness and social/racial division defiance.

Although I pride myself on accepting, respecting and befriending people based on character, rather than race, color, creed or sexual orientation, I do feel the need to contribute on this day. Nor am I prone to violence or any number of things that typically aid the prison system in oppressing, degrading and thriving off of our spilled blood. Today I would like to share a brief story with you...

In late March of this year, I was transferred to a detention unit for a week waiting for a bed on my current unit. At 2am, on my second day in detention, a youngster was put in the same cell as me. He was small, timid and appeared to be terrified just being in the cell with me. I immediately sensed his fear and knew something  had happened to this kid. Something bad.

Only provided a thin sheet, a roll of toilet paper and a thin ratty matress, Jay had no possessions visable. Laying out his mat on the floor next to the door, rather than on the upper-bunk, he lay down covering with the sheet. I fell back asleep sensing he was watching me in the dark. Hours later, I awoke to breakfast trays being pushed in through the doors tray-slot. Jay sat up, accepted the trays and handed me one. "Thanks. My name is Shannon" I told him. "I'm Jay", he answered. We talked for awhile and he told me about himself and after some coaxing about what happened to him.

New to prison, Jay was placed on a medium security prison after being sentenced to six years for burglary. A yard on Lewis Complex. He was only there for a matter of twenty minutes before rumors began circulating that he was gay and was approached by multiple prisoners. Some of them were predatory and Jay began his prison experience in fear and on the run. He checked in. Requested Protective Segregation. The guards placed him in the yards detention unit, and wrote him a disciplinary for "Refusing to house". A ticket many receive who seek P.S. and do not get it. A ticket that not only brings being housed in a detention unit, with no personal property (not even a book), no commissary privileges and horrible treatment. That is until you agree to house where ADOC says. No matter what has happened to you, what threats exist for you or who is also housed there. You will house, or be disciplined and disciplined until you house.

Jay was placed in a detention cell with another prisoner under "Refusing to house" status. He thought the threat was over and even conversed with his cellmate about what had happened and even went one step further admitting he was in fact gay.

Jay was forced to have sex with that cellmate. In his sleep, Jay was violently raped by his cellmate.

Jay was able to report it during a medical visit and was seen by professionals at an Arizona Hospital. A rape kit was done on him, various pamphlets were given to him and he was prescribed medication to possibly help rid him of anything his rapist might have had. He was then placed in the cell with me at a different detention unit on Lewis Complex. Still under "Refusing to house" status.

Jay was celled with me until I moved to Rast Unit. He and I talked about what happened to him and his future (in & outside of prison). Despite what had happened to him, in the few days we were celled together, Jay did not receive the medications until 2 days after his arrival, was not counseled by a psychologist / psychiatrist of any sort (other than a passing medical staff checking on the dozens of suicidal prisoners housed in detention) and saw no investigators about the crime that was committed against him. I did my best to comfort, counsel and help Jay, but he needs and deserves much more. He should be treated like a victim of a violent crime He is one! I believe I gave him somebody who'll listen, good advice, assurances that he didn't do anything wrong or cause this sicko to do this and I schooled him on some do's & dont's in prison. I also shared everything I had with him and showed him that good people do exist in here. Personally, I was shocked and sickened how ADOC staff could, and tried to, make somebody who had just been brutally raped in a detention cell, sit in another detention cell without any personal property. Nothing but horrible memories and scrambled emotions. I'm so glad I was able to provide him with reading material, paper, pen & envelopes and anything else I could think of to keep his mind occupied. 

On this Prisoners' Justice Day, and any other day we can, I hope that everybody in and outside prison will do what they can. Mail a card / letter to a prisoner. Hold a peaceful protest. A vigil. A prayer. Donate to a prisoner rights / human rights organisation. Give a fellow prisoner a gift. A compliment. A hug. A handshake. Correspond with your local legislators about improving  the prison system. Help someone you know with a loved-one in prison. Anything you do in celebration of Prisoners' Justice Day would be better than doing nothing at all. Doing nothing is part of the problem within the prisons.

I'd also like to thank and acknowledge the follwoing people for what they do for prisoners. I think everybody should check out the websites and contact them with praise and thanks.

* Peggy Plews, Arizona Prison Watch:
www.arizonaprisonwatch.blogspot.com
prisonabolitionist@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/events/266379043476365

*Donna & James Hamm, Middleground Prison Reform:
donnaleonehamm@yahoo.com/middleground
prisonreform@msn.com

*Shaun Attwood, Jon's Jail Journal:
www.jonsjailournal.blogspot.com
writeinside@hotmail.com

*American Friends Service Committee:
www.americanfriendsservicecommittee.org

*Prison Legal News:
www.prisonlegalnews.org
info@prisonlegalnews.org

* www.exoffenderreentry.com

* www.prisonjustice.ca

* www.lostvault.com

* www.writeaprisoner.com

* www.prisontalkonline.com

Dark Night: Heros Rise

July 22nd, 2012

12 dead and 58 wounded! Men, women and children senselessly slaughtered and injured! An assault rifle, shotgun, large caliber handguns, 1,000's of rounds of ammunition, tear gas, booby traps, trip-wires, explosives, I.E.D's, ballistic helmet & body armour and a gas mask! Innocent people in Aurora Colorado became victims of a madman on July 19th, 2012.

During the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises, a young man armed and dressed for combat, attacked unsuspecting movie goers in a dark crowded theatre, after setting a trap at his apartment. (Apparently, to kill first responders and neighbors.)

Alex J. Boik (18), John Blunk (26), Jesse Childress (29), Gordon Cowden (51), Jessica Ghawi (24), John Larimer (27), Matthew Mc Quinn (27), Micayla Medek (23), Alex Sullivan (27), Veronica Moser-Sullivan (6), Alex Teves (24) and Rebecca Wingo (32). All victims who died. My condolences to all friends and families of these human beings who lost their lives.

Many of these victims and the survivors of this horrible assault were protecting others when they were killed and / or wounded. Story after story of truly heroic actions of those in Theatre 9 are being told. Men and women, boys and girls, young and old... all heroic. Absolutely amazing stories of bravery, selflessness and humanity reflected by action.

I want to give all of the victims, their families and friends some advice. Don't let this person's actions kill any victims, a slow or postponed death, down the road! Get counseling! Don't turn to drugs or let the fear and pain fester inside! There's no shame in asking for help, and it's not weakness to be affected by this horrible ordeal. Talk to somebody! Prisons are full of former victims of violent crimes.